What time do I need to wake?
Answer: I don’t NEED to wake!
Change the sentence, please.
What time do I want to wake?
Answer: When I’m needed.
It seems that years spent multi-tasking for someone else has taught me to live my life around the NEEDS of the ______ (you can fill it in). Moving from one topic or project to the next by spinning quickly was the way to control my surroundings. Staying in control was the point, after all. Make yourself valuable and you’ll always work, I’ve learned.
Now, no one NEEDS me to do anything. The children are grown, the hubs is really independent and I have no job. In this new world, I often just sit and think about my next move, because I’m the only one who needs me today.
Before, the deadlines dictated the speed in which I made decisions. Now, before I know it, I’ve “thought about it” for several hours and imagined many different scenarios, not reaching any destination on that map.
This morning, for instance. I headed to the laundry room to start a load and out of the corner of my eye I saw the beautiful handcrafted pantry shelf by the back door. Now, I’ve not been one to really care about the pantry… except that the shelves were functional and available. My sweet husband painstakingly built the pantry to my perfect specs. The shelves had to be narrow to fit in a hallway, and I needed it to be sealed so I could clean it properly. The shelves are a perfect compliment to the kitchen cabinets in the adjoining room.
I spent years cooking meals for the family, until he retired. He always cooked some along the way, after I planned it, did the dreaded shopping and always cleaned up afterward. After he retired, he took over all the cooking responsibilities and that was perfect for me!
No more oatmeal raisin cookies for me!
Today, in my new life… learning to NOT WORK outside our home, I am compelled to move that can of beans further back on the shelf so it won’t fall.
BAD MISTAKE! There goes my focus.
Well, just suffice it to say, the cans are all sorted, dusted and neatly placed on those handcrafted, beautiful shelves. The boxes are all faced to the front and the bags are secure in plastic containers. The wood has been dusted and
little “gifts” left in the corners (screws, nuts, light bulbs, non-working batteries) have all found another home and the beautiful pantry is well organized. I’ve swept the floor, the cob webs from the corner and even the ceiling. I cleaned the windows in the door and as my eyes wander away from my project, out the windows to the dusty car… but first!
What’s the target for today, I remind myself.
From the book, Intentional Living, by John Maxwell, I learned that it’s ok to do new things badly the first time. I’ll do them again, and next time I’ll do it better — keeping my eyes on the target, completing at least one task at hand, on time without getting sidetracked.
An hour later and once again, I’m headed toward the filled washer (now with cool, no suds-water) to start the load. If I just hadn’t glanced away. If I just had kept my eyes forward, focused on the task at hand, the load would be done!
One step in front of the other, then check back to see what I missed! That’s the plan!